My Messed Up World of Smash!
by Plushie Master Marth
Summary: My comedy fic, mixing up the world of SSBM in wicked ways. Beware of any strong language.
1. Episode One!

Master Marth: Hello there faithful fans! I have been suffering from lack of thoughts as of late, and decided to write something that has nothing to do with all my other works. Also going to be very pointless and strange. Please enjoy my strange new world of Smash Bros!  
  
Smashing news tonight! Brought to you by Plushie Corporation! If they're not ours, they're not plushies! The most famous star that many know and love, Mario, has been discovered on a deep drug addiction. Because of these things, Mario has turned a darker path, becoming depressed when least expected. He seems to hate each and every person he meets. More on this tomorrow.  
  
Another famous character, Princess Peach of the Mushroom Kingdom has recently taken a new turn. She was been spotted wearing a hockey mask while toting a chainsaw. Mass killing sprees had occurred wherever this pink psycho...er...princess has appeared. A survivor of one of the more recent killing sprees had this to say: "I was hiding in a closet the whole time. I heard Peach walk by, and she was muttering something about chocolate covered walruses... I was so scared!"  
  
"Caw, caw! Can't catch me! I'm the gingerbread man! Strawberry dolphins rule all!" Falco yelled, flapping his arms up and down like a chicken while jumping up and down on a telephone wire. Fox yelled up, "Get down here! You need to take your crazy pills!" Fox was pelted by a flurry of white liquid drops. "Argh! Damn it Falco that's sick! Stop mimicking the stupid pigeons!" Falco laughed. "Go, my pigeon brethren! I, the king of all crayons shall assist you! Oink!" Fox growled. "That's it." Fox started to walk up the street. "I'm getting the tranquiliz---" Fox then imploded into himself for no reason, disappearing from existence. Falco hopped up and down once more, flapping arms. He was then hit hard in the head by an egg, falling down from the wire on top of a pile of dead pigeons, dying as well. Yoshi hopped up and down happily, yelling some phrase that could only be heard by bats, then stopped, watching Luigi go by in a pink outfit holding hands with Bowser, who was wearing lipstick and some kind of skirt. Yoshi just stared, watching them kiss as they went, and gagged.  
  
Ness laid in bed, staring at the ceiling with a scared expression on his face. Young Link walked up to Ness, blinking. "What's with you?" Ness nervously looked at Young Link, whispering, "...I see dead people..." Both looked at one another for a moment, then burst out laughing. The door of the room then busted down, as Link growled, holding his sword. "You little brats! You broke my hookshot!" Young Link gasped. "Ness, let's cheese it!" Both of the kids ran, Link yelling and chasing, firing arrows after.  
  
As the three ran outside, they saw something that made them stop in their tracks. Ganondorf ran around with nothing on, in the streets, yelling, "I am the queen of the antelopes! Give me elephants and I will sprinkle you with walnuts!" As he ran, he stepped hard on Pichu, flattening and killing the small thing easily. Ness then said, "Oh my god, they killed Pichu!" Then Young Link said, "You bastards!" Link simply shuddered, saying, "I am never gonna look at that guy the same way again..." Men in white suits immediately tackled Ganondorf, tying him up in a straitjacket and hauling him off. The three looked at one another, then they all nodded, and Young Link and Ness continued to run, Link giving chase once more.  
  
Pikachu strolled through the city streets, sniffing around for any foods. Then the little Pokemon saw it; A donut, with a fresh spork in it! Pikachu gobbled up the donut, as well as the spork. Pikachu then looked ahead, seeing Jigglypuff. Pikachu then saw that Jigglypuff was being put on a helium tank, being filled up to capacity. She was tied to a string, just as a yyoung child came by, begging his mother to buy the Jigglypuff "balloon." She agreed, and he quickly started playing with it. They went into the ice cream shop, and Pikachu followed. Before he made it, though, he spontaneously combusted, burning into a small pile of dust. Dr. Mario rushed over, inspecting the remains. "Hm. This had something to do with..." The doctor then pulled out a spork and a donut. "These two things. Perhaps Pikachu, being an electric type, had a combustible nature, and this spork set off a reaction in the donut that lit up the inside, causing him to burn up!" A random passerby looked at the doctor. "That makes no sense at all!" The doctor handed the passerby pills. "Here. They'll make you very strong, just shut up." The passerby nodded, then walked off, whistling. The doctor snickered, for little did the passerby know those pills were filled with the deadly bubblegum flavored taffy ice cream walrus of doomedness! - Gasp! -  
  
In the ice cream shop, DK watched a small child carry in a balloon. It looked like Jigglypuff. Since DK hated Jigglypuff, he popped it. And blood burst everywhere. DK simply shrugged it off, and ordered a banana split. - Can DK really speak enough to order one? - When the order reached the kitchen, the chefs rushed around, quickly making it. They head about a Pikachu combusting, and rushed off to the front after it was finished. Enter Ice Climbers! The two jumped down from a vent in the ceiling.  
  
"Hey Nana! They finally left!"  
  
"Yeah! Now we can explore the forbidden ice cream temple!"  
  
"Let's go!"  
  
The two leaped into the giant banana split, carefully covering the hole they made. The chefs then came back, rushing the food to DK. DK immediately descended upon the ice cream, wolfing it down in a matter of seconds. As he licked the bottom of the bowl, he found a small skull at the bottom with a blue hood on it. DK shrugged, and ordered more.  
  
Further away, a man ran, turning and pointing to the horizon. "Run! It's Kirbyzilla!" All the people ran, as a giant pink Kirby walked forward, sucking in everything in front of it. This started after Kirby finally got sick of being called a stupid puffball, and took out his anger by vowing to eat everything and anything before him. Stupid puffball. Kirby growled, then turned, and eats any remaining sense left in most of this story.  
  
Roy was recently admitted into anger management. You know why? Well, let's go back a bit. Roy hasn't bothered to learn english like Marth recently has. Back at a bar... Roy ordered a drink, sitting next to a blonde girl named Zelda. He tried to speak with her, but she tilted her head, saying, "What? I don't speak whatever you're saying..." Roy growled, speaking once more, carefully, but with no success. Zelda got up, starting to leave. "What an idiot you are..." Roy snapped. He yelled out, pulling out a large spork. He then leaped upon Zelda, stabbing her to death. He was quickly detained, taken to court and sentenced to anger management. - Yes, he committed murder and all he gets is anger management. It's my story, so THERE. -  
  
Meanwhile, Captain Falcon pulled out his binoculars, watching Samus go into her room with her power suit on. "Come on...Take it off..." She started to reach for the helmet, but then heard the phone ring, and ran off. "Damn!" Falcon growled. A few minutes later, Samus returned to her room. She then started to reach for her helmet once more, when she froze. Her eyes immediately darted toward Falcon's window. Falcon gasped. "Shoot!" He started to turn, getting shot in the back before he could take a step. And somehow, Samus' victory music played in the background.  
  
Marth yawned, taking a relaxing nap in a barn. No fights, no work, nothing. Just peace and relaxation. A dog lay outside the barn, asleep. Marth was about to sleep, when he smelled smoke. "What the hell is that?" Marth took a look below, seeing that the cow kicked over a lantern. "Argh!" Since he was on the top of the barn, he couldn't get down, the bottom was on fire. Marth yelled out the window, "Lassie! Go get pa, Lassie!" Sadly, THIS dog was deaf. And so, Marth was burned to a crisp in the fire. How sad.  
  
A dark figure smirked, high in the sky, having seen all this. Mewtwo laughed mentally, as far as the telekinetic waves would travel. "It is fun to meddle in the affairs of other dimensions... I should try this again sometime." And with that Mewtwo teleported, being sent back to his normal dimension.  
  
Master Marth: Hey, this story is somewhat related to my normal ones! That Mewtwo was from my other stories, so ha. He really knows how to cause chaos in the world. Anyway, I might do another one like this if I get lots of good reviews, so get started with them! 


	2. Episode Two!

Master Marth: Well! I got a lot of good reviews for the first chapter, so I'm gonna make something completely unrelated, starring one of the characters from my normal fics! The best for this job is...Linkie! Have fun reading the well named Linkie's sugar rush! Just so you all know, this is before he came into my fics. It's in a different dimension than the first chapter, so MORE havoc can ensue!  
  
Footsteps echoed through the cavern, as a rumbling followed. Many traps were in the cavern, though all of them were broken. Candy canes were stabbed deep in walls, gingerbread guardians were half eaten, and the cotton candy pit of doom was eaten. Yelling came from the deep end of the cavern, as Linkie came into view, holding a large sack. He was running from a large gumdrop. "Linkie MUST taste the forbidden candy of doomedness!" Linkie kept running, seeing the exit, and it was closing! "Linkie won't make it! Chicken! Save Linkie!" Linkie ripped off his hat, reaching in and throwing a cucco forward. He threw his hat back on and leaped onto the cucco, as it raced toward the exit. "Come on, chicken...!" Linkie ducked down as the chicken ran, barely making it under the closing stone door. The cucco quickly stopped, as Linkie was sent tumbling forward. He stopped slowly, blinking. "Wow! Linkie wants to go again!"  
  
Linkie then opened up the sack, grinning widely. "Linkie's candy is safe! Hurray!" He dove into the bag, as wrappers seemed to fly out of the bag. After 5 seconds, Linkie hopped out of the bag, holding a pixie stick. Linkie looked sadly at the last bit, opening the top and eating some. "Linkie wishes that Linkie had more. He then felt something shake behind him. He looked back and gasped. The bag was full again! "Wow! Linkie must have eaten MAGIC candy! Yay, Linkie is content!" Linkie was about to dive in, but then stopped to think. - My gosh! He's THINKING! Stop the presses! - "Maybe Linkie should save the rest! Linkie wants to have fun with all his special friends! Chicken! Come to Linkie!" The chicken then hopped over to Linkie, as Linkie held up his hat, the cucco leaped in.  
  
Mushroom Kingdom! A calm place where nothing ever seems to go wrong. But, sadly, then the flying hippos of doom came and dropped ducks on their castle, turning it to rubble. And now, only Peach and Mario live there, in a cardboard box they call the new Mushroom Kingdom. Linkie hopped over to the box, knocking on the side. "Mario person! Peach lady! Come out of your house! Linkie wants to play with you!" Mario walked out of the box in tattered clothes and torn up shoes. He smelled like old toilet paper and had a beard now. "Go away. I don't have time to play with a little brat like you."  
  
Linkie growled, and pulled out a paper bag full of breadcrumbs. "Linkie will use the magical bread crumbs!" He then sprinkled the little bits of food onto the box, as it glowed and turned into a rubber chicken, as Mario was sitting on a rock watching a cardboard TV, with Peach sleeping in a corner. "PLAY WITH LINKIE NOW." Linkie said in a deep, slightly creepy voice. Mario nodded nervously.  
  
Mario sighed, having to jump his highest up and down with Linkie on his head. Peach watch, holding back a laugh or two. Mario was then sent flying as Bowser quickly entered the scene. He was in a purple coat with fur around the edges. He also had deep black shades and a golden tooth, along with a golden cane and a golden necklace with large golden letters saying PIMP. "Hello there, my lovely slave!" Linkie blinked. "Slave person? Peach lady? When did this happen? Linkie wants to know!" Peach sighed. "I made a bet with him. If the castle was destroyed by forces other than his within one month of the bet, he would get my money and I would have to be his slave every time he came around."  
  
Linkie grinned widely, shaking with anticipation. He then leaped about ten feet up, yelling, "Linkie can help!" He slowly landed on the ground, as Peach and Bowser both stared at him. "Linkie will drive Bowser person crazy with Linkie's happiful funness!" Bowser grinned, his golden tooth showing. "Ha! I have a will of steel, you can't make me crack!" Linkie ginned. "Betcha Linkie can!" Bowser growled. "Fine then! If you succeed, Peach can have all her stuff back, AND her freedom. If I win, I get to eat you!" Linkie nodded. "Okie dokie then! Eat some of Linkie's bread crumbs as a pact!" Bowser dumped the bread crumbs down his throat and left for his castle.  
  
Bowser was in a dark room. "What's going on?" He looked around fearfully, hating the dark. Suddenly, a clown leaped out of nowhere with a funny expression on it's face. Bowser yelled in fear, and hid in his shell. He heard a noise in his shell, and looked to the side. He was confronted by a small blue light with wings, as it yelled out, "HEY!" Bowser yelled, leaping to his feet and running. He was then tackled by a koopa. He was on his back on the ground. "Oh, hello little one. What're-- -" He then yelled in fear, seeing the turtle had Linkie's face. He leaped up, screaming. He looked around quickly, seeing he was in his own bedroom. "Oh. Thank god. It was just a dream." He then yelled loudly, as Linkie was grinning at him, saying, "Or was it?" Bowser panicked. "Fine! I give up, you win! Here are the documents for the money and Peach's freedom! Just go away!"  
  
Linkie came into a forest dividing the castle of Bowser to Peach. "Linkie will go the happiful magical way!" Linkie then ate some more of the pixie stick, thinking something, as a door appeared, and opened. Linkie happily walked through, ending up in a place where chocolate flowed as a river, and there were gumdrop bushes and lollipop trees all over. Linkie watched all the more strange characters walk around. Kirby was swimming in chocolate. Pichu was at the edge, licking up some of the chocolate. The electric mouse lost its balance though, and fell in, getting hardened into a chocolate mouse. Seeing this, Kirby inhaled the mouse, swallowing it whole. Kirby then coughed lightly, spitting out the skeleton. Nana, seeing this, said, "Oh my god, they killed Pichu!" Popo said to follow this, "You bastards!"  
  
Jigglypuff floated by, and somehow, Pikachu was inflated and floated with. DK flew up on a purple banana peel, taking out a hamster and popped the floating Pokemon. Pieces scattered everywhere, as Linkie found Pikachu's foot. "Yay! Luckyfulness! Linkie found a lucky Pika foot! Linkie will keep, and sell for exaggerated price on the internet! Yay for Linkie!" Linkie then stopped, watching Luigi walk by with Captain Falcon, both of them were in their pink costumes, holding hands. They then stopped and kissed, walking into the distance. Yoshi and Linkie both gagged.  
  
Falco ran by, yelling, "Hi ho, the mushroom is getting antsy, and so is the king of Spain! Duck muck suck luck puck! My pants are quacking!" Yoshi chased after the insane bird with random knives and donuts. Linkie shrugged, and continued on. He soon came up to another door, as Mr. Game and Watch was holding up an exit sign. Apparently, he also was upgraded to have a face, and was smiling rather creepily. Linkie said to Game and Watch, "How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop, Mr. G&W?" Mr. G&W beeped angrily, "What?! How the hell should I know, you retarded child! Now leave me alone!" Linkie replied, "Why?" "Because, I said so!"  
  
"Why?"  
  
"Because I'm mad."  
  
"Why?"  
  
"BECAUSE MY FACE IS STUCK! HOW STUPID ARE YOU?!"  
  
"Why?"  
  
Mr. G&W beeped, furious. "That's it! I quit!" G&W then stormed off, frame by frame...  
  
Linkie grinned, how he loved doing that. He opened the door, walking out in front of the castle, as the door disappeared behind him. Linkie tackled Peach, sending her flying down into the remains of the moat. He watched as a fish sucked her up in one bite. Linkie stared at this, and slowly moved away, whistling as he went.  
  
Link was asleep, under a blanket with Zelda. They were both in a tent, camping for the night. They were abruptly woken up by a shaking at the tent. "Link person! Zelda lady! Linkie found your clothes outside! Do Link and Zelda want them? If you want them, play with Linkie!" Zelda blushed, looking to Link, who poked his head from the tent. "Alright, Mini- Me. Just give me the clothes and we'll play." Linkie handed the clothes to Link, and they got dressed.  
  
And so, Link was forced to play a game of hot bomb, which he lost. And was quickly hospitalized for this reason. Linkie sighed. "Linkie is bored now. Zelda lady left! ...Oh! Linkie knows!" Linkie then ran off, in the direction of Ness' house.  
  
Ness threw a ball at a fence, as it bounced back to his hand. "Boring." Ness was then sent tumbling by a green blur. Ness grinned, as did Linkie, as both said at the same time. "Yay, good happiful friend!" Linkie pulled out the huge bag of candy. "Linkie found the forbidden candies!" Ness hopped up and down. "Yay! Now let's pummel Marth and Roy with animal crackers!" Linkie nodded. "Yes, yes! Off to see the wizard, the wonderful wizard of whoosh!" The two children ran off to complete their goal.  
  
Marth walked into the room, which was totally covered in white. Cushions all over the walls. He walked up to Roy, who was sitting in the bed. "Now, Roy. This is VERY important. What is the safe combination?" Roy stared at Marth, and twitched, saying, "I'll never tell..." Marth smacked Roy across the face with a rubber chicken. "Come on! Talk!" Roy fell to the ground, yelling, "Never!" Marth growled, and pulled out a hot dog, smacking Roy over the head repeatedly. "Come on, psycho! Or else I'll have to use the platypus!" Roy shrieked in terror. "No! Not the platypus! Okay, I'll talk! The number is---"  
  
Roy was then killed by a lion shaped animal cracker. Marth yelled out, "No! Why! I was so close! Just kill me now!" Marth was flattened as well by a large tiger animal cracker. Linkie grinned widely. "Yay! Linkie and Ness friend win!" Both of the children celebrated, hearing a voice ringing through their heads. "You two! Don't move..." The two froze, and slowly turned. Mewtwo glared to them. "I'm in a bad mood today. So now, you two get to face my wrath. Any last wishes?" Linkie looked to Ness, and both nodded at one another. "Linkie and Ness friend want Pokeballs with a Pokemon in each to defend ourselves with!" Mewtwo nodded, as two Pokeballs appeared. Ness opened his first. Wobbuffet. "Ha! That won't help." Linkie opened his, as Mew flew from the ball, up into the air, as Mewtwo gasped. "Mew!" He flew after, forgetting all about the two. By this time, the two were long gone.  
  
Linkie yawned, back in bed. "Linkie is tired. So, it's bedtime for Linkie! Goodbye people! Thankie for paying attention to Linkie! Bye people!" Linkie fell asleep, snoring loudly with mouth wide open, biting at his pillow as though it were food.  
  
Master Marth: Hurray! I'm done! Did you like it!? Well?! Ah, whatever, it was a little less random but still makes little sense, me hopes. Anyway, I'm done on this for quite a white. If I feel like it, I'll write more another time. But, until then, farewell! 


End file.
